May 12, 2011

CharcoalCoyote’s Qwop Challenge!

So, I’m sure many of you have seen this game called QWOP by now. It’s pret­ty old news, and the cre­ator has already put out a new one called GIRP (which is just as hard, but in a dif­fer­ent way.) If you’ve still not seen it, HERE is a link to the game on its home web­site. Most of you who have played have only stuck it out to the ten meter mark before rage­quit­ting (I’ve made it to fifty meters three times, but nev­er got­ten past it.) So, I chal­lenge you, TGB read­ers, staff, and who­ev­er else would like to play: Beat QWOP. Go the dis­tance. Run all the way to the end, and jump as far as you can.
But why, you may ask? Why would I con­sume that much of your time? How about this; the win­ner of this lit­tle chal­lenge dic­tates what my next arti­cle will be about. Want my thoughts on the sit­u­a­tion in Libya? You got em. Want to know how I feel about ani­me? Go right ahead. Do I enjoy cud­dling soft fluffy kit­tens? Beat QWOP and find out.
Rules of the Chal­lenge:

  1. The QWOP Chal­lenge begins at exact­ly 12 PM EST on Fri­day, May 13th. It ends imme­di­ate­ly at 12 PM EST the fol­low­ing Fri­day, May 20th.
  2. As an anti-cheat­ing mea­sure, you must sub­mit a PHOTO (not a screen­shot) of your screen. You must have this arti­cle open in one tab, and your win­ning QWOP screen­shot tab open (if your brows­er does­n’t sup­port tabbed brows­ing, I would sug­gest upgrad­ing.) The pho­to must also con­tain a post-it note or oth­er piece of paper with the words “I think Char­coal­Coy­ote should write an arti­cle about <insert  top­ic here>”. If you can still cheat through all this, well, I admire your cheat­ing skills. You will read the arti­cle you sug­gest­ed and know that you are a D‑bag.
  3. I reserve the right to not write an arti­cle about top­ics that would be too extreme­ly inap­pro­pri­ate for our web­site. If this hap­pens, I’ll allow you to sug­gest anoth­er top­ic. Once again, don’t be a D‑bag.
  4. In the event that I get mul­ti­ple win­ning sub­mis­sions, the one who jumps the far­thest at the end (longest dis­tance) wins. If it’s a per­fect tie, I just might write two arti­cles.

So, good luck to all you par­tic­i­pat­ing out there. I look for­ward to see­ing what you come up with. QWOP on, my friends!


  1. AceOfNades69 - May 13, 2011 6:32 pm

    I actu­al­ly fig­ured out a method to beat this.…2nd try i went 68.1 meters

  2. oureax - May 15, 2011 3:36 pm

    Haha­ha. Looks like fun. I want you to write about GOG. So i’m sure­ly going for gold.

  3. CharcoalCoyote - May 15, 2011 4:38 pm


  4. DrPixel - May 24, 2011 1:41 am

    Is it too late to post a [CHARLIE SHEEN] win­ning entry for this? ^_^ I have beat­en Qwop! I don’t know if you just like, delet­ed all the com­ments, or I’m the only one with a pic but here it is:
    I know it’s not a pho­to, I don’t own a web­cam so I had to resort to a screen­shot. At least I put the time in the bot­tom right hand cor­ner? Eh, worth a shot.
    The game was fun and I’d actu­al­ly nev­er tried it before so I had to ask a friend for some help, which actu­al­ly worked great. 😀

  5. CharcoalCoyote - May 24, 2011 8:04 am

    I’ll check it when I get home. It’ll be the only entry I’ve received, so if it proves to be legit (and I don’t doubt it), you get your choice of arti­cle!

  6. zero_19 - May 24, 2011 12:31 pm

    I was on vaca­tion so I failed to QWOP into Mordor.…not that I could beat that game, I wast­ed enough office time on that damn thing when I first found it.

  7. DrPixel - May 24, 2011 1:30 pm

    Okay, thanks Coy­ote! ^_^
    Oh yeah, and I real­ly did­n’t know what to choose for the arti­cle so I just chose “indie games in gen­er­al”. Hope that isn’t too generic…xD


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